"Do I Have to Talk about My Trauma?" What Finn the Rescue Dog Teaches Us
If you met Finn, your heart would break. Finn is a gorgeous black lab with soulful, almond-shaped eyes. His coat is shiny, his limbs agile and young. Finn should be sleeping next to his person, running through a backyard, and stealing dropped goodies from a kiddo in his house. Instead, Finn shakes and quivers in his kennel, watching intently anytime a volunteer takes a step. Finn lives at the local dog rescue, Mikey and Me, where I volunteer. We don't know his background, other than that he was found as a stray. He currently wants to be as far away from people as possible, cowering in the furthest corner. But he also has a curiosity and a longing in his eyes, a clear desire to connect and be loved.
I think about Finn and dogs like him when clients ask me, "What if I can't remember my trauma?" or "Do I have to talk about the trauma?" When animals are traumatized, they have no ability to talk through their memories, verbalize their feelings, or contextualize their childhoods. Yet we see time and time again, given enough love and consistent safety, traumatized animals can heal, gain confidence, and learn to trust. Finn has only been at our kennel for two weeks, but in that short time, he has developed enough courage to let some volunteers pet him. He has been brave enough to go outside on short walks, despite his preference to stay in his kennel. It is slow work for him and the volunteers, but progress is happening! We've seen many traumatized dogs like Finn learn they are finally safe and begin to enjoy their lives.
I see the same thing happen with people. In the therapy room, healing rarely starts with the story. It starts with a client realizing, session after session, that nothing bad is going to happen here. That they won't be pushed, rushed, or judged. That realization, built slowly through consistency and safety, often does more than words ever could.
Humans, like all mammals, have an amazing capacity to heal from trauma if they are given enough time, safety, and compassion. We don't have to have all the words, or follow specific protocols, or even sometimes remember what our trauma was. We need to know that we are safe, that we are cared about, and that we can take as much time as we need to heal. The therapy room and a strong connection to your therapist can be the perfect environment for this process: a place where no pressures exist and no judgment is passed.
Finn is learning, one short walk at a time, that not every human is a threat. You can learn
that too.
If you are interested in learning more about trauma therapy or scheduling an appointment, please give Counseling Services, LLC a call. We want to help you enjoy your life again, free from fear.
~Cathy K.
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